January - Work: Aim Higher

This month's focus is on work. I have been a working mother for 3 years and working at the same company for 7 years, since November 2003. It would be 8 years, but I took a year off to stay at home with D. I decided it wasn't in my nature to be a stay at home mom and went back to work. I love my job, the company I work for, and my boss is great to work for as well, a definite plus for any employee. I get great evaluations every year, but the one thing he always tells me is an "opportunity" for me (depending on the context, and in this situation a performance eval, this company lingo for "weakness") is developing a clear career path. He always follows this statement up with: "not that I want you to leave me (I'm his assistant), but you have potential to do more." I really appreciate that encouragement, but that's the perpetual "what do I want to be when I grow up", $50 million question.
I graduated from the U of A in 2002 with a bachelor's in fine arts, emphasis in psychology. I worked for a psychologist for 2 years and really enjoyed it. The problem with any profession that couples the words "people" with "practice" is the extra schooling. At the time, I didn't have the patience or the means to fund a masters or doctorate degree. Plus, driving 30-45 minutes to the office I worked in everyday was a pain in the you know what. My husband helped me put my resume together for a position at the company I currently work at and the rest is history.
I've heard that the best way to figure out what you want to do in the future is to look at what you've done in the past - starting with updating your resume, my first goal for January. The next step is to get involved in areas you have an interest in or a special skill set for and that you enjoy. That's an important caveat - if you are good with numbers, but hate budgets, you probably shouldn't be in finance. I look to accomplish, or rather explore, this goal through mentoring relationships. I have one mentor who is in special events and communications - an area of interest and past experience, as well as an area I've been told I have some skill level in; and another mentor in merchandising - an area I've always been interested in getting involved in but have no idea how to break in.
The other goals for January really focus more on improving day to day work quality - working smarter, not harder. In addition, I want to improve and foster better relationships at work. To accomplish the first goal, I want to organize my work space, both physically and electronically. I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction and stimulation that I get when I just move things around a bit on my desk in an effort to be more efficient or have things laid out so they are easier to get to or they help me stay on top of projects and to-do's. To organize my work space electronically, I'd like to start by doing a better job of organizing my day. I know what my boss is going to be doing every minute of every day (because I schedule them all), but my day is a toss up. Of course that's part of the nature of my job. If he needs something now, that's priority. If I have to rearrange his day or travel, I drop what I'm doing and do it. However, barring those interruptions, I can make task lists, to-do action items and schedule time to work on major projects in my day.
So, what does all this have to do with happiness? I get a sense of fulfillment out of accomplishment. When I complete a big project or check off a task, I feel a sense of pride and contribution that makes me happy. Probably a big part of the reason why I work. When I feel organized and like I'm just "on it," I feel great. Things click. But those things don't always just happen, they are planned for. And I'm if anything, a planner!

Week 4

2011 is rapidly coming to an end. And like we say every year, I can't believe how fast the time has gone. Especially this month. And while I can't say that I hit each one of my goals every day this month, I know that the times that I have, I feel better or I have more energy and that makes me feel good. But this project isn't about FEELING good, it's about BEING happy.
I'd also like to clarify happiness. I read a quote the other day from someone that said, "Life is not about being happy." I would counter that life is not about being SELFISH. People often do things compulsively and selfishly, chasing after what they think is happiness, but end up feeling empty inside. I know that my ultimate source of happiness is my God, but I also know that God expects action on our parts in our lives. I also know that the Bible speaks an awful lot about joy. So I say there is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and joyful, dwelling in the Source of it all.
So next month's focus is going to be on "Work." Why I chose "Work" for January, I'm not sure! Maybe because "Health" seemed cliche with the New Year's Resolution time of the year, and if anyone knows me very well, they know that I eat pretty well and work out 4-5 times a week, so there is not a lot of "Health" that I need to focus on.
This next week, I will take some time to come up with what within "Work" to focus on!

Week 3

Week 3 has come and gone in a blink.
While we had a much better week with D, I did a poor job on my resolutions. I only hit about half of them - mainly the exercise and drinking enough water. I noticed how important emotional energy was to physical energy. I only have one kid but when he's in a cranky mood, it really takes a lot of energy to deal with. I can only imagine the mothers who have more than one! And it's no secret that this busy time of year can create a lot of activities that cause it to hop from one thing to another, taxing our energy.
Fortunately, we're done with all our Christmas parties and I've only got a gift or two left to pick up, so this week will likely be slower before the mob of family arrives, which is always a good time! I love having all our family around, it's an emotional pick me up (most of the time :).
Another observation I made this week was how much of a distraction my iPhone is. I already leave it in my car during work, but I still check it in the morning, at lunch and at night, pretty much constantly. So this week, I am going to limit it to 1-2 times a day. There's never anything so urgent that I need to check it 10 times a day!
So this week, I am going to do a better job of getting in to bed on time and getting stuff ready for work in the morning, especially since I am at work by 7 a.m. It can be frustrating after a 10 hr day, getting D into bed and then trying to fix my lunch and iron my clothes, all while getting in to bed by 9:45 p.m. It can feel like you end up with no free time or time to relax. Keeping in mind one of my commandments, to work smarter, not harder, I'm going to try and be more efficient in this area, so I have more time for myself!
Here's to this week!

Week 2

I'll admit, week 2 was hard. Much harder than I anticipated. It started off fine, but with Mikel traveling, I was worn out all the time from having to be the only one here to get D and myself ready for the day, take him to school, work a full day and exercise, pick up D, fix dinner and then get him in bed. And he was CRANKY. All week long. Don't know if it was the full moon or what, but it's really hard to be "happy" when your four year old kicks you square in the face. But I get points for staying calm with him and not over reacting, something I struggle with when he does stuff like that. Who wouldn't??? It's not easy to keep your cool when your kid lands one on your face. So I was worn out from all that but by then it was Wednesday and Mikel came home....sick. No real symptoms other than fever, aches and sleeping all day. So naturally, the next day, I started feeling it too. By Friday, my boss made me go home and strangely enough, I didn't fight him and did. I should have taken the chance to sleep when I got home but instead I watched 6 hours of TV. I had a headache and didn't feel like sleeping even though I was worn out. I went to bed by 9:30 p.m., after Mikel woke me up on the couch when I eventually fell asleep.
So needless to say, this week didn't feel like a success. It was hard keeping up with some of my goals when I was so tired by the end of the day. Which is still one thing I need to identify an energy boost for. I love music, so maybe I need to blast some cheery music when D and I get home for a little mini pick me up. However, I did allow myself to rest this week. I didn't push it on the exercise because my hip has been injured from running and I let myself to rest when my body was obviously fighting off getting sick, which allowed it to heal because I feel much better.
This next week is going to be focused on eating well because we have 3 Christmas parties to go to and I have two lunch dates. That's a lot of eating out. I will also ease back in to running as my injury is much better. I ran 4 miles yesterday and 5 today. I will do a better job of getting my lunch, gym bag and clothes for the next day lined out because that is a big help in the mornings, helping me get ready on time and taking some of the chaos out of the hectic morning.
Here's to a new tomorrow. Even if it is a Monday.

Week 1

This week began the Happiness Project December area of focus for vitality & boosting energy.
It hasn't been real easy. D has had a few tough nights of what we think are mild night terrors and it's hard to get 7 hours of sleep when that sleep is interrputed by an inconsolable 4 year old who screams who 45 minutes. However, drinking 100 oz of water a day and cutting back considerably on caffeine has really helped. And, even though I was very doubtful at first, I started journaling at the suggestion of my friend Erin. I have a tendency to be a bit OCD and to be perfectionist. The biggest issues I would have trying to fall asleep were the amount of time it would take (30 minutes at least) and trying to turn my brain off. When Erin suggested journaling, I thought something as simple as that would in no way help me fall asleep. I thought I needed something (like a sleeping pill) to turn that constant stream of thought off. It wasn't related to stress as it would happen whether or not I felt stressed or had a lot of things going on in my life. What stressed me out was not being able to sleep. It seemed to get worse when I was overtired, which didn't make sense, so I was so tired! But I see D having the same problem and I understand that our bodies produce cortisol when we are stressed or tired, causing our bodies to work overtime and not be able to rest and relax.
http://www.sleep-problems-nomore.com/Cortisol_and_Sleep.html
The sleeping pills, which were not very strong, worked, but I felt a "crash" by the afternoon, worse than coffee. I decided to drastically reduce the amount of coffee I drank. Then, we went to Guadalajara Mexico on a mission visit. I really wanted the trip to induce a change both spiritually and mentally. Before we left, I left the sleeping pills at home and journaled just about every night. Although I didn't sleep well in Guadalajara (Train tracks next to hotel!), I have slept well ever since.
My next step is to identify some activities and behaviors that I can do in the evening to keep my energy up in the evening. I think we all understand the difficulty in staying energized after a long day.
In the Happiness Project book, Gretchen kept a resolutions chart for each month in the area of focus for that month. That was really something I did not want to do. I understood why though. Keeping track of the goals you wish to accomplish within a resolution, creates the ability to measure how well you are accomplishing those goals. But my friend Juli told me about an app to help keep track of behaviors and responsibilities we were teaching D and I thought it would be a good, simple way I could keep track of my goals.

Speaking of, I better get to bed! Mikel has a 6:30 a.m. flight, which means an early wake up call for us all.

December – Boost Energy: A focus on Vitality

After three months on sleeping pills ($200/month!), staying up too late, sleeping in too late, I decided my project needed to start with a month focusing on energy. My mood is always better automatically when I feel rested. Fortunately, I haven't had to have a sleeping pill in 3 weeks, even though not every night has been a great night's sleep. And I won't deny the Benadryl. God bless Benadryl.
So my first goal in this month’s resolution is to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night. Sleep studies (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/how-many-hours-of-sleep-are-enough/AN01487) show that adults should get 7-9 hours of sleep, so 7 hours is on the low end. Since I get up at 5:15 a.m. (or try to!), this means I need to BE asleep no later than 10:15 p.m. It takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep, I need to be in bed by 9:45 p.m. I struggle with this some, because I do a lot of things to get ready for work the next day. I iron my clothes, make my lunch and snacks and get my gym clothes ready for the next day. After I get home from work, I cook, play with my son, get him in to bed, do the above items, and by then it’s already 9:30 p.m., which leaves little time to relax. I’m going to try to carve out more time in the evening to relax, meditate, write in my journal, pray/read my Bible, AND try to get in bed by 9:45 p.m.!
Drink less caffeine. Since I switched from coffee to black or green tea, I have slept better.
Drink 100 oz of water a day.

Workout schedule:
Do yoga 3-4 times a week. Don’t force it to be a certain amount of time, just do what you can in the time you have.
In addition, Run 3 times a week.
Cross train 2 times a week.
Rest 2 days a week.
Give myself latitude to rest more if I need it.
This is similar to what I already do for exercise but adding in more yoga to prevent injury and restore. Yoga is good for mind, body and soul.

I’ll add/change goals as I go along!

Simple Truths, Personal Commandments and Areas of Focus

Simple Truths
1. To be happier, think about feeling good, feeling bad and feeling right in an atmosphere of growth
This truth is about the measure of happiness. What does it mean to feel good vs. feeling bad but in an atmosphere where you experience personal growth (vs. a superficial, fleeting moment). True happiness to me is an ongoing, satisfying, fulfillment vs. a hedonistic, humanistic approach.
2. Quality is always better than quantity
Doing more things only makes you busy. Doing things of substance makes you happy.
3. The days are long but the years are short
Similar to quality, this truth addresses living an extraordinary life, not a general one.
4. People matter more than things
Self-explanatory. Things aren’t bad, but shouldn’t be a focus of a life.

Personal Commandments
I. Be Lynn – I will not force myself to do things that I do not enjoy just because I feel like I should be “that” type of person. At the same time, I will try new things and keep an open mind.
II. Work Smarter Not Harder / Quality over Quantity
III. Pray, pray, pray
IV. Hit the Mat – Yoga is happiness for mind, body and soul.
V. Silence is Golden – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all
VI. Sing more; dance more; laugh more
VII. Other people cannot tell you that you are/are not happy
VIII. Be slow to anger – and breathe
IX. Be good to yourself – take time for your body to heal, rest and relax
X. Kick some butt – Selectively push yourself!


Areas of Concentration:
December – Boost Energy: A focus on Vitality
January – Aim Higher: A focus on Work
February – Love: A focus on Marriage
March – Serious about Play: A focus on Having Fun
April – A Mom and her Son: A focus on Parenting
May – Make Time for Friends: A focus on Developing Quality Friendships
June – Contemplate the Heavens: A focus on my Walk with God
July – Conquer my Fear: A focus on What I am Afraid of
August – Being Mindful: A focus on Staying in and Enjoying the Present
September: Pursue a Passion: A focus on Hobbies
October: Get it Together: A focus on Organization
November: Others: A focus on Volunteering

My Happiness Project

I'm not the best blogger. It's been 18 months since I've even posted.

My site is not going to look fancy or awesome. I'll settle for functional.

I'm not horribly witty. Well, I am in real life but in blogger world, I'm mostly just random.

I am happy. Generally speaking. I am not clinically depressed or angry. I have a pretty good life. But, like most of us, life is very busy and tends to skip days. Tomorrow I will likely wake up and be 40, even though I'm only 31 today. The busyness of life has often made me pause (although not for long) and wonder what I could do to decrease the chaos, somehow slow down the clock, and create more quality (not quantity) in my life without giving up a bunch of activities that I enjoy. I tried reading the book "Make Room for Life" but had problems getting past the first chapter. Finally, after 3 months, I finally finished my book club's book for September, "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. The book, and Gretchen's quirky personality, really spoke to me. After I finished the book yesterday, I immediately made up my mind to do my own project. Like I said, I am happy already, generally speaking. But it's a general feeling. I desire an extraordinary life. Not a general one. I want an extraordinary marriage and relationship with my son. I want extraordinary friendships and passions that I pursue heartily.

So here I go! Essentially, I am going to follow the same pattern Gretchen did and many of the things she concentrated on are areas I want to concentrate on too, with a few exceptions. The first step is to come up with a list of Simple Truths; basically, what I want to accomplish or what I define as "happiness." Second, you list Commandments; things that you hold true to in order to pursue genuine happiness and not areas you just wished you were good at, did, or enjoyed. Lastly, you come up with a list of 12 areas of concentration that you want to create more happiness in and around; for example, parenting, marriage, energy/health, etc. This is essentially what a happiness project is. It's not about perfection. It's about a passionate pursuit of life.

Again, I am really bad about blogging regularly, so don't expect daily updates. I'll shoot for once a week at the most, and once a month at a minimum. My next post will address my Simple Truths, Commandments and Areas of Concentration. I will also keep really personal stuff out of my posts, I'd hate to embarrass my husband ;)

The project starts December 1. And I promise to try and update my boring blog background.

Zoo

We had just arrived and were still fresh and hopeful.

Some where off to the right, behind that bush, is an elephant.

Big cat.

I don't know how my son knows what an otter is, but that is what he thinks this creature is. And for those of you paying attention, it's a ground hog. But otter is just easier for a 2 year old to say. So, an otter it is.

Our "conductor" had a rockin' 'stache. I wish he would have turned around so I could have captured it on film. Like bushy, handle bar, Opry house 'stache.

D was exhausted - but not enough so that we were missing the train ride. He was estatic and it made the day. He was a trooper all day long.

Since he only slept 30 minutes on the way home, we rewarded ourselves with A&W ice cream. And the sugar high kept him from being too cranky when we got home.

And when we got home, our specially ordered soccer jersey awaited.

D and I went to the zoo on Friday, on a rare day off from work. It was hot and crowded, since it was the Friday before Memorial Day, but we had fun. Other than the sun screen in his eyes part. And the waiting 20 minutes for the train ride part. And the crappy zoo food part because I failed to pack lunches because we had no food in the house because I spent too much money on shoes part.... But it was all part of being a family unit (minus dad who was traveling) - being hot, sticky, dirty, and in small spaces with other hot, sticky, dirty people. But at least I had good friends to do it with. And my baby boy!

Under Construction

I am trying to update a few things on the blog. Little by little! Hopefully it won't take me 4 months to do it...

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Lots going on. D is getting big and I turned 30! Work, family and friends are keeping us very busy, not to mention the house is up for sale again. We've had a lot of good showings on it and are hoping for a good offer. Still running a lot. Completed the Bentonville Half, which was a really hard course, in just under 2 hours. Just about all of the Hancock family is running now, which is really cool. We get to do races together and recently, me, Mikel, his brother Jim and their dad Floyd completed the Little Rock team marathon relay on Floyd's 60th birthday. I've been taking a hot yoga course at Clubhaus in Fayetteville, which I love. Mikel's back at Sam's Club and couldn't be happier (go buy some produce at Sam's!!!) and I still love my job, even on bad days.

Please enjoy the following smattering of pictures from the past four months and I promise to try and get better at posting more regularly!

Partner's yoga

Messing around

D being funny, taking off his pants

Eskimo kisses

Cheese!

Kid likes being naked, what can ya say? Hope I don't get in trouble for posting this!

Birthday present fit for a Queen.

Mikel and Bridget threw a great party!

A cake with a shoe on it...Mikel knows me way too well.

After the Marathon relay.

Snow!

Ready for a ride.

D automatically links outside with his bat and ball and insisted we take it outside to play in the snow.

Dunning, being oh so unimpressed with the snow.

Pretty. [P.S. you can buy this house :)]

We woke up to a lot of snow Sunday morning, when there was only 30% chance. But that's Arkansas for you! We had a bad day with the D man, who woke up and cried for an hour after his nap. So to distract him, we bundled up and went outside. However, we lost one of D's heavy duty mittens, so he had to wear his regular cotton ones and he kept complaining "mama, hands, cold." And he has no snow boots, so he was in his tennis shoes. We stayed outside for about 20 - 30 minutes before heading back in. We tried to sled, but had no sled, so we improvised with cardboard box. But the snow was too powdery, so we just took turns pushing each other all the way down the hill in the back yard.

Also, in true Arkansas fashion, it took all day for the snow plow to give our road a half hearted pass and of course school is out tomorrow, much to the chagrin to mom's every where as today was supposed to be the first day back after break and even though most of the main roads are clear.

Christmas and Birthday

Ice cream party at D's daycare

In our PJs, opening birthday presents

D loves his "tar" - the guitar his granny got him.

D loves his Auntie Steph.

MMMMWAH!

Tricycle from Tita.

Elmo chair from cousins, Aunt Bridget and Uncle Jim.

My running gear

Mikel and his game

D's new basketball goal

We had a great Christmas this year! We had both sets of family in town so the day after Christmas, we had everybody come over to our house at 8:00 in the morning for a breakfast pajama party for Dunning's birthday! It was so much fun. We made a ton of pancakes on the griddle, 2 breakfast casseroles, bacon, mimosas, juice, milk, coffee - we were stuffed!! D got a lot of great presents - tricycles, guitar, cars, books...and he quickly caught on to the concept of opening presents. I gave Mikel the new Call of Duty for Christmas and he got me some running shirts that said "irunlikeagirl"

I always think it's a good idea to make New Year's resolution even though statistics show most people won't keep them. But you always benefit from trying.

1. Scrapbook more - I just ordered 400 pictures from 2009 to start working on getting caught up. I hope to do a page a week.

2. Eat healthier. I need to eat more veggies, less sugar. I also want to be a more efficient cook for my family by using the crockpot.

3. Be more organized. I've naturally started being more organized since going back to work, but I'd like to keep it up and improve. It seems like it helps give me more time in the day.

4. Continue to run. I'm already signed up for another half marathon in March and I'm entertaining the thought of a marathon. I saw on the last season of the Biggest Loser, that the contestants did a marathon (granted it took them over 5 hours) and I thought "Oh, I can soooo do that if they can." I just need to convince my husband to get a treadmill!

5. Read more. I only made it to half or less of my book club meetings last year, and this year I want to make it to all of them if possible.

6. Volunteer more. There are a lot of opportunities to volunteer and I need to make sure to take advantage of it. That should be on the top of all our lists.

Now, I need to do these, keeping in mind not to over commit myself, which I do a lot of. So my last resolution is to spend more time with my family, especially my wonderful partner, Mikel.

Hancock Family Update

The Hancock family has been very busy the past few months! In September, Mikel and I went to Las Vegas! We took lots and lots of pictures, that you can see here.
October seemed to fly by and the next thing we know, it's Halloween! Dunning was a tiger and that costume lasted all of 15 minutes before complete meltdown. So, we'll see that was a successful trick or treat outing.
Now it's November and we've already had another ear infection and been in the ICU once and gotten to stay with Nana a lot. And it's not even flu season yet!
So, here is a sampling of what D's been up to.

So sad. He was so unhappy with all the leads and the IV. They eventually had to wrap his arm with ace bandage to keep him from ripping it out. I have a whole new respect and understanding for parents who have children that have to be in the hospital a lot. It was no fun, and we were only there for 24 hours.

First big boy cup - look ma! No lid!!

Hanging out with Logan Carter. We pulled out the toddler chair - we had never used it before, but I think we will now!

Reading the dog a book.

Playing dress up with mom's shoes. Dad wasn't real thrilled with that.

Streakin'. His new favorite thing to do.

First time with spaghetti.

Roar! I'm a scary tiger!

Just being cute.

Naturals Game

Dunning doesn't go anywhere without a "go go," which is what he calls his ball. Not sure where that originated from. Maybe from us telling him to go get his ball. Hence, a "go go."

D knows where his tummy, head, eyes, ears, foot, nose and as shown above, his mouth.

And he knows how to give kisses. Mommy's favorite.

And he's a big ham. Not sure where he gets that from....

And his favorite of all - "Da da!"

A kid can get thirsty from all that running around.

So it's not easy being a parent of a toddler and taking that toddler out for a family night. Toddlers like to run and explore dangerous places. Nevertheless, Mikel and I ventured out with toddler D for Saturday family night. We went to Crystal Bridges trail and saw some deer, which Dunning proceeded to "woof" at. We went to Table Mesa to eat some really good Mexican food. Dunning particularly like the cheese dip and flour tortillas. Then we went to a Naturals baseball game. This was spent mostly chasing Dunning around the grassy "lawn seating" area because all he wanted to do was climb up and down the concrete stairs that were just a little too steep for mommy's comfort. He finally found him a good spot and we got to watch a good part of the game. We left with the Naturals leading 10-0, and D feel asleep so soundly that he slept through me changing him for bed.